Thursday, April 06, 2017

BETTER WATCH WHAT YOU EAT

I will admit that I like to have a bit of fun with folks who hold that the Bible is the inerrant word of God and must be read literally [translation - you must read it like I read it 😊].  So, just to make sure that your diet complies with the rules, here is a list of clean things that you can eat, and unclean things that you must avoid - eating the latter makes you unclean and thus worthy of punishment! Note the final word of caution.  I will confess to breaking some of these rules, but not repent!!!!

A General List of Biblically Clean Meat:

Antelope
Bison
Buffalo
Caribou
Cattle
[Beef, Veal]
Deer
Reindeer
Gazelle
Giraffe
Goat
Hart
Ibex
Lamb
Hogget
Mutton
Moose
Ox
Roebuck
Sheep

A General List of Biblically Unclean Meat:

Alligator
Armadillo
Badger
Bat
Bear
Panda
Beaver
Caiman
Camel
Cats
Cheetah
Cougar
Jaguar
Leopard
Lion
Panther
Tiger
Crocodile
Dogs
Coyote
Fox
Hyena
Jackal
Wolf
Elephant
Frog
Gorilla
Groundhog
Hippopotamus
Horses
Donkey/Ass
Mule
Onager
Zebra
Kangaroo
Llama
Lizards
Mice
Mole
Monkey
Baboon
Chimpanzee
Muskrat
Newt
Porcupine
Possums
Rabbit
Raccoon
Rats
Rhinoceros
Salamander
Skunks
Snakes
Spiders
Squirrels
Swine
Boar
Hog
Pig
Peccary
[Bacon, Pork, Pork-sausage, Ham, Lard]
Toad
Turtle
Wallaby
Weasel
Wolverine

A General List of Biblically Clean Fish: (with Fins and Scales)

Albacore
or Crevalle
or Horse Mackerel
or Jack
Alewives
or Branch Herring
or River Herring
Anchovies
Black Drum
Bluebacks
or Glut Herrings
Bluebill Sunfish
Bluefish
Blue Runner
or Hardtail
Bonitos
Boston Bluefish
or Pollock
Bowfin
Buffalofish
Butterfish
Carp
Chubs
Bloater
Longjaw
Blackfin
Cod
Common Sucker
or Fresh Water Mullet
or White Sucker
Crappies
or Black Crappies
or White Crappies
Flounder
Dab
Gray Sole
Lemon Sole
Summer Flounder
Winter Flounder
Yellow Tail
Frost Fish
or Ice Fish
or Smelt
Groupers
Black Grouper
Gag
Nassau Grouper
Red Grouper
Yellowfish Grouper
Grunts
White Grunts
Yellow Grunts
Gulf Pike
or Robalo
or Snook
or Sergeant
Haddock
Hake
Halibut
Herring
Lake Herring
Sea Herring
Kingfish
Long Nose Sucker
or Northern Sucker
or Red Striped Sucker
Mackerel
Menhaden
Mullet
Muskeilunge
or Jacks
Pickerels
or Jacks
Pig Fish
Pikes
or Jacks
Pompano
Porgy
Scup
Red Drum
Redfish
Red Horse Sucker
Redfin
Red Snapper
Salmon
Chum
Coho
King
Pink
Red
Sardine
or Pilchards
Sea Bass
Shad
Sheepshead
Silver Hake
or Whiting
Silversides
Spanish Mackerel
Striped Bass
Trouts
Gray Sea Trouts
Weakfish
Lake Trout
Sand Sea Trout
White Sea Trout
Spotted SeaTrout
Tunas
Bluefin
Yellowfin
Skipjack
White Fish
Yellow Perch

A General List of Biblically Unclean "Fish & Sea Foods": (without Fins and Scales)

Abalones
Bullheads
Catfish
Clams
Conch
Crabs
Crayfish
Crawfish
Crawdad
Cuttlefish
Dolphin
Otter
Eel
Jellyfish
Limpet
Lobster
Marlin
Mussel
Octopus
Oysters
Paddlefish
Porpoise
Scallop
Seal
Shark
Shrimp
Snails
Squid (Calamari)
Stickleback
Sturgeon
Swordfish
Walrus
Whale

A General List of Biblically Clean Fowl:

Chicken
Dove
Duck
Goose
Grouse
Guinea Fowl
Partridge
Peafowl
Pheasant
Pigeon
Prairie Chicken
Ptarmigan
Quail
Sagehen
Sparrow
Teal
Turkey
And Other Song Birds

A General List of Biblically Unclean Fowl:

Albatross
Bittern
Buzzard
Condor
Coot
Cormorant
Crane
Crow
Cuckoo
Eagle
Flamingo Grebe
Grosbeak
Gull
Hawk
Heron
Kite
Lapwing
Loon
Magpie
Osprey
Ostrich
Owl
Parrot
Pelican
Penguin
Plover
Rail
Raven
Roadrunner
Sandpiper
Seagull
Stork
Swallow
Swift
Vulture
Water hen
Woodpecker
All others not specifically listed as clean.

A General List of Biblically Clean Insects:


Crickets
Grasshoppers
Katydid
Locusts

(Most insects except a few in the locust family are unclean)

Note:
Animal Shortening, Gelatin, Jello, Marshmallows, etc. (usually contain pork-based gelatin), any saltine cracker that states it uses animal shortening (usually lard), and anything else that states it uses animal shortening.

IF IN DOUBT, AVOID ANYTHING NOT SPECIFICALLY LISTED AS CLEAN!

PS by me - I note that eating other humans is not mentioned

10 comments:

Molly Bloom said...

I thought that nowadays it doesn't matter WHAT we eat so much as how MUCH of it we stuff into our bloated bodies.

Douglas E said...

Pretty much right on Molly; what's interesting is that I am sure that there are precious few Christian folks who follow these dietary restrictions. Some point to the New Testament to claim that the restrictions have been lifted. It's interesting that some of the approved food can actually kill you if you are not careful!!

hoosierdaddy said...

Speaking of bloated bodies - that's the cure for hunger in America! All of the fat people can forgo all of their excess intake and give it to the hungry!!

James J. said...

My family used to hunt and eat rabbits and squirrels. Does that mean we are going to hell?

Douglas E said...

JJ - sadly so. But the good news is that every one else who has ever lived is going there as well.

Bizzy Brain said...

I watch every bite of what I eat.

Douglas E said...

Sounds like my seafood diet - I see food and I eat it!

Bizzy Brain said...

Confusing response to JJ about everyone going to hell. I thought everyone was going to heaven, that is, once you throw the Bible out the window, which many formerly Bible-believing denominations have done over the years. They have come to believe that love trumps sin. Basically no need for a savior. To save us from what? That silly, outmoded notion we call "sin"?

Douglas E said...

Bizzy - all I was hinting at was that there are so many prohibitions in the bible that nobody can possibly not break one of them. Thus, the lake of fire for everyone!!!! Just simplifying things a bit :-)

Bizzy Brain said...

Agree, Douglas E.! Just pulling your leg!