Monday, April 01, 2013


Cheney Has Been Transformed:
To The Introspective Penitent
In today's press release, Cheney renounced virtually all of his previous stated positions, including a bleary-eyed [note the redness] apology for quotes such as the following:
On war: “ It’s more important to be successful than loved.”

On torture: “‘We’re not going to force you to tell, because it might create a bad image for us,’ is not even a close call for me.”

On his own mistakes: “Ahhh, I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about my faults.”

On engineering Henry Kissinger’s ouster from the Ford White House: “You needed to mix things up a bit there — so he went down.”
On WMD: “We didn’t find stockpiles, but we know [Saddam Hussein] had intent.”
In fact, Cheney went so far as to say that virtually all of the verbatim quotes in the Wikiquotes entry codifying his responses to a variety of situations should now be considered as at least partial truths if not outright lies.  Likewise the long list of claims that were simply wrong were retracted.  It is not clear exactly what triggered Cheney's change-of-heart repentance, but it appears to be related to the fact that he indeed has a new heart.  The heart donor was apparently a liberal Democrat from California, although the actual identity of the donor has not been released nor has the cause of death been determined.  However, there is much speculation that Cheney's transplant is related to the recent disappearance of Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-California).



Bizzy Brain said...

Father of Liz Cheney, a brilliant thinker and writer.

hoosierdaddy said...

Ah, Bizzy - I knew we could count on you! :-) My guess is that Cheney will pass away before the Indict Bush crowd has success with their campaign to go after Bush, Cheney and Rumsfield.

Sick Sigma Sez said...

No one in his right mind believes Bush, Cheney, or Rumsfield will ever be convicted of war crimes or anything else. The thrust of the campaign is for donations, not indictments.

Bizzy Brain said...

I was a civilian employee of the Dept. of the Navy when Cheney was Secretary of Defense. I always liked him. Guess that makes me about the only one.

Douglas E said...

Triple S - probably right, but I would venture that there are actually a few people 'in their right mind' - i.e. not totally bonkers - that believe that there is a chance for indictment. Maybe we can come up with some sort of campaign that will attract donations!!!

Douglas E said...

Bizzy - yeah you are probably the only one..... :-) Methinks however he still has many fans in Wyoming, northern Indiana, etc., if you get may drift.

Bizzy Brain said...

Back in the late 80’s, the Navy contracted for the development of a carrier-based super plane, the A-12 Avenger II, which became so frightfully expense and fraught with problems that Cheney made the gusty decision to cancel the project, the largest contract termination in DOD history, a savings to the taxpayer of multiple billions. That gesture certainly earned my respect.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, it sounds as though doctors mistakenly transplanted a conscience instead of a heart into his body.

Douglas E said...

Yes, it probably confirms the ancient belief that the heart is the home of the conscience.