The LBN Newsletter, the self-proclaimed insider newsletter and blog of Michael Levine, recently asked - "Should Charlie Sheen be committed to a mental institution?" Over 85% said yes, but I was one of the minority - rather than an institution, I believe that this is what he needs:
Dear Charlie - Despite the fact that most folks believe that you should be committed to a mental hospital, I disagree. What you need is a strong-willed 24/7 chaperone who will monitor your every move and serve as your father/brother/friend/advisor/confidant/behavior monitor and enforcer. Forget all of the rationalizations and other BS that you spew to the media - you are among the most privileged of the privileged, and you simply do not know how to behave or to make intelligent decisions. Wisdom is anticipating the consequences, and Charlie, it appears as though you have next to none.
Considering what you pay per month in familial support, I am available for $20,000 per month plus room and board and a modest per diem. I will monitor your every action. We will clear your house of all drugs and alcohol. I will carefully scrutinize every person who comes into contact with you. The only time that I won't be at your side is in the bathroom and when you have guests in your bedroom. Said guests will be searched before being left alone with you. Twenty-four/seven - and I will bust your butt for any misstep. Deal??