White Trash Blues
This is a great country, and we’re takin’ it back.
In front of my big screen, watchin’ Fox News,
Here in my trailer, with the white trash blues.
There’s a socialist nearby, can’t be no doubt,
But I ain’t workin’, ‘till unemployment runs out.
Can’t even use my food stamps on cigarettes and booze,
Here in my trailer, with the white trash blues.
Got eight kids, only three by my wives.
Soon as one leaves, a new on arrives.
But I believe in God, and family values,
Here in my trailer, with the white trash blues.
Got a reinforced bunker and 36 guns,
Eight cars in the yard, and none of them runs.
Got me a mullet, and a bunch of tattoos,
Here in my trailer, with the white trash blues.
The American Nazis, they ain’t all that bad.
Never did join ‘em, but I kind of wish I had.
This country is run now by socialist blacks and Jews,
And I’m here in my trailer, with the white trash blues.
The Folksingin' Junkie in the Upper Room of his barn.
Now we'll probably both get shot.
ReplyDeleteThat is hilarious! Makes the most sense yet of any lyrics you've posted.
ReplyDeleteGot me a truck, much power under the hood.
ReplyDeleteI get a lotta women, none o’ them good.
Got no money in case anyone sues.
Here in my trailer, with the white trash blues.
My daughters a stripper, swings on a tall pole.
ReplyDeleteWants to be an actress and play a big role.
Her GED with all her heart she pursues.
While I sit in my trailer with the white trash blues.
Why didn't I think of those verses...
ReplyDeleteTAF and KC - good one!! And kenbob aka FSJ, you can probably put them into your next version!! Thanks y'all.
ReplyDeleteGrandma got pregnant and is doing mighty fine.
ReplyDeleteGrandpa goes 'round mutterin', "Hope the kid is mine."
He keeps the still a boilin' and churnin' out the booze.
Thank God for that because I am, a man with white trash blues.
An episode of Hee Haw, I have never missed.
ReplyDeleteEven missing re-runs leaves me kinda pissed.
Love them Hee Haw babes prancin’ ‘round without no shoes.
Makes me awful horny, takes the edge off white trash blues.
“I’ll take Shakespeare for a thousand, Alex,” words you’ll never hear,
ReplyDeleteSpillin’ from these redneck lips suckin’ on a beer.
“Checkmate” is another word you’ll never hear me use,
While sittin’ in the trailer with the white trash blues.
Got my chicken-fried steak at the truck stop diner.
ReplyDeleteLoaded up with some Camels and a case of Shiner,
and hooked up with the county flooz
to take my mind of of my White Trash Blues.
Good one, Hoosier! You got the hang of it!
ReplyDeleteThanks PDK - the Junkie is going to have to turn this into a Dylan-esque song with 25 verses!
ReplyDeleteSofa’s on the front porch, fridge is by its side.
ReplyDeleteHarley’s in the driveway, Lordy what a ride.
Rayleen’s fryin’ baloney, a treat I can’t refuse,
Sittin’ here contendin’ with the white trash blues.
Was drinkin’ in the pool hall and feelin’ free,
ReplyDeleteWhen up comes a biker, twice as big as me.
He ordered me to play him and as we reached for our ques,
The last thing on my mind was the white trash blues.
Oh my JW, that's a really good one, especially the fryin' baloney!
ReplyDeleteRayleen? Great name. Almost as good as fried baloney.
ReplyDeleteSeems like Rayleen has shown up here before ;-}
ReplyDeleteDr S, if you like Rayleen, perhaps you would like Rayette. That's the name of the character Karen Black played in the 1970 film Five Easy Pieces starring Jack Nicholson. BTW, did you know you are a blood relative of a blood relative of Ms. Black? Does the President of Goshen College know that he is, too?
ReplyDeleteRedneck wisdom: "Build a man a fire and you warm him for a day. Set a man on fire and he shall be warm the rest of his life."
ReplyDeleteI rarely eat cured sandwich meat in my dotage, but I DO remember as a kid my mom fixing fried baloney once in awhile. I liked it. There was also a baloney recipe handed down by your grandma, Dr S. It was bulk baloney run through a meat grinder, then mixed with Miracle Whip and some other ingredients like pickle relish, sugar, and maybe chopped celery to make a baloney salad, akin to chicken or tuna salad. Mmmm...
ReplyDeleteGents - I do have a recollection of our relative connection to Karen Black - and still am not impressed! However, Grandma Anna's recipe for baloney salad sandwiches remains one of my favorite uses of baloney, and I love baloney!!
ReplyDeleteNot meant to impress. Just an interesting bit of trivia (to me anyway). Not a pretentious bone in my body (yuk, yuk).
ReplyDeleteBizzy - I just meant that I am more impressed with say, Cousin Mark's work, than that of Black :-)
ReplyDeleteGotcha, Doc. Thanks for clearing that up. I agree wholeheartedly. Cousin Mark's contribution to society outweighs that of 99.9% of show biz types.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of white trash blues, readers may be interested in this article, Why Democrats Lost the Redneck Vote.
ReplyDeletehttp://takimag.com/article/why_democrats_lost_the_redneck_vote_scott_locklin/print#axzz1p6KM2OAI